


Tutorial on Tagging

by Craftybadger1234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Don't copy to another site, Educational, Fluff, Foreshadowing, How Do I Tag, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Language, Older Characters, this is how you tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23335396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: This is for everyone that’s ever tagged a work with “how do I tag” and “I suck at summaries.” Because we all know a tutorial is more fun if it’s led by our two boys sharing witty banter and sweet kisses.Harry needs help posting a new work to the Archive, and Draco is giving him a helping hand.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 14
Kudos: 85





	Tutorial on Tagging

**Author's Note:**

> I get it - I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. Tagging is hard. So are summaries. This is kind of the process I go through when I’m posting a new work, and I’m hoping it’ll help others see it doesn’t have to be difficult. Except our boys are posting a Twilight fic, and I’ve read exactly zero Twilight fics, so I don’t know the fandom-specific things that go with it. I mean no offense to the Twilight fandom. It’s just, it would be weird if Harry were posting a story set in the HP fandom, don’t you agree?
> 
> Also, I'm a little nervous, like this might be a hot button topic? If you want to comment that you totally disagree with me, or if you want to add your own (kindly worded) tagging pet peeves, go right ahead. I’m chill, and promise not to get offended with some kind of epic online meltdown.
> 
> Finally, huge thanks to my beta CleopatraIsMyName, who laughed along with me and didn't even fuss at me for ignoring the epic story I'm *meant* to be working on. You are amazing, Cleo, and I'm thankful for your insights that make my works even better. And thanks also to S, my real life friend, who answered a few basic Twilight questions I was too lazy to Google myself.
> 
> Ok, here we go.

“Babe! Where are you? Draco!”

Draco rolled his eyes as he continued chopping cucumber for their salad. “I’m in the kitchen!”

“I finished my story,” Harry yelled from the sitting room. “Come help me post it!”

With a sigh, Draco wiped his hands and took his mug of tea to the sitting room. “You’re nearly forty, Harry, when are you going to learn to do these things yourself?”

“It’s more fun when you do them. Sit here with me.” He moved the blanket aside and patted the seat next to him on the sofa. Draco set his mug on the side table and let Harry arrange the blanket over them both while he took hold of the laptop.

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” Draco pulled his silver wire-rimmed reading glasses from his shirt pocket and set them on his nose, ignoring the grin on Harry’s face.

He got a kiss on the cheek anyway. “You look so adorable in those glasses.”

Draco shook his head and scanned the page quickly. “It’s a short one. Weren’t you supposed to be finishing that longer story?”

“Erm… yes… this was just a little side project. To clear my head.”

Draco _tsked_ in mock-disapproval. He well knew about Harry’s lack of perseverance when it came to longer stories. Shiny new ideas distracted him at every turn. “You gave it a g-rating.” Draco turned a suspicious eye on Harry. “Are you sure that’s accurate?”

“Yeah, it’s probably fine. It’s just a short conversation between Edward and Jacob. No sexy bits or anything. Oh wait, Edward says ‘Damn it, Jacob!’ at one point. Oh, and he says fuck too. Hmm… maybe a teen rating after all?”

A few f-bombs sounded more like his Harry. “Let’s tag it ‘teen’ to be on the safe side and make a note in a tag or summary about the language.” Draco typed in ‘minor language’ in the summary box. “All right, warnings. Oh Harry, you can’t click on both ‘no archive warnings apply’ _and_ ‘chose not to use archive warnings.’”

“Why not? None apply and I’m choosing not to click any of the other boxes.”

“Because ‘no warnings apply’ is for when none of the boxes apply, obviously. And ‘chose not to use warnings’ means one or more of the warnings _could_ apply and you’re opting to keep that a secret.”

Harry snorted. “I never understood that. Why would it need to be a secret anyway?”

“Maybe it’s a spoiler, or maybe the author is uncertain if the violence they’ve written is ‘graphic’ enough to warrant the tag. Does it need an ‘underage’ tag if both characters are fifteen and having sex for the first time? Or is that just for those stories of twenty year old Jacob creeping after four year old Renesmee? Maybe they want to add an air of mystery. I don’t know. There are lots of reasons to click that box. But clicking that means there’s a possibility a warning applies, and thus, it’s impossible to also say no warning applies. Your options are no warnings apply, warnings apply, or warnings _might_ apply and I don’t want to say so. So which is it for you?”

“You know, you’re really sexy when you lecture me with those glasses on. I feel like I should get a ruler and you can spank me like a naughty -”

Draco elbowed Harry. “Can you please focus? You know what, I’m going to assume no archive warnings apply. Okay… fandom, Twilight. Categories. Is this Jacob and Edward, like _Jacob and Edward_? Slash or ampersand? Are Bella and Renesmee in there somewhere?”

“No, they drove off a cliff or something. This is definitely _Jacob and Edward_.”

“Did the girls die in _this_ fic, or they’re just not mentioned at all?”

“Not mentioned at all.” He slid an arm around Draco’s shoulders and nibbled at his ear, and tried for a seductive whisper. “Definitely boy on boy action.”

Draco laughed and typed in the appropriate boxes. “Jacob and Edward relationship… Jacob Black, Edward Cullen characters. Any other characters?”

“Nope, just those two. No wait, Quil is there for a few lines in the beginning. Really minor, though.”

“Does he say anything?”

“Just a line or two?”

“Okay, speaking characters should get a mention. So we’ll tag Quil as a character too. Right. Additional tags. As always, we’ll start with ‘don’t copy to another site.’”

“Ugh, people can be such dicks sometimes.”

“Agreed.” Draco leaned back into the fingers carding through his hair. “It can’t really stop them stealing your work, but maybe it’ll at least give them pause. What else?”

“I don’t know. I suck at tagging.” He kissed Draco’s cheek, then full on the lips when Draco turned his head for it. “That’s why you’re here.”

“Mm, should I just read the whole thing then? You said it’s short, and I have time.” Draco moved the cursor to switch to Harry’s open Drive tab, but Harry knocked his hand aside.

“Er, no, that’s okay. You don’t have to read it.” And was that - yes, Harry’s cheeks were pinkening.

“Are you _blushing_? You know this is going on the internet where all and everyone, including me, can read it, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you reading it _now_ right in front of me!” 

Draco gave Harry an affectionate pat on the thigh. “All right, fine. You’ll have to help me though. Is it funny, fluffy, angsty, sexy… what kind of thing is it?”

“It’s a fluffy thing. Maybe a little humour.”

“Great. You said no sexy bits - but I think that’s a lie, knowing what I know of you. They at least kiss, right?” Draco smiled at Harry, and got the smiling kiss he expected.

“Yeah, at the end. And it kind of implies they’re going off for sexy fun times.”

Draco waggled his eyebrows. “Excellent, that bodes well for my future. So we’ll tag it fluff, implied sex, boys kissing. Is it _actually_ funny, or do you just _think_ it is?”

“I think I’m funny.”

“I think you’re funny too. We’ll go with ‘humour’, instead of ‘attempt at humour’. Oops, it’s ‘o,’ not ‘ou’ for this one. Americans,” he added with an eye roll. "I’ll add in ‘mild language’ and then we don’t have to put it in the summary. Next is setting. Is this pre-Bella-vampire, post-vamp, or post-canon?”

“Post-canon. They’re a little older, sharing a flat.”

“It’s America. They’re sharing an _apartment_.”

“Right. Apartment. I think I’ll have to edit that before posting.”

“Okay so we’ve got some general categories, the setting, defined the sexy bits. Anything else? Are you hitting any of the big tropes? Secret or fake relationship? Forced bed sharing or some kind of mind-reading thing?”

“Erm… no, none of that. It’s just general chit-chat. Nothing really.”

But Draco could see Harry’s eyes darting away, his hands twisting in the blanket. Draco narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “It sounds like _something_ and not nothing at all. What is it Harry?” He tried for a soothing tone. “You’ll have to tell me for the summary.”

“No, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. Tell me. Tell me what to write for the summary. What’s the story _about_ , Harry?”

“I don’t know.”

“Of course you know, you wrote the story! It doesn’t have to be an elaborate description of every twist and turn of the plot. But it has to be something more than ‘Edward and Jacob have a conversation.’”

Harry sighed and ruffled his hair. “I don’t know. Descriptions are hard. Plus it’s shit anyway. No one’s going to want to read it.”

“Well we’re definitely not writing _that_ down.”

“Why not? Plenty of people do.”

“I know and you know what? It’s not humble or self-deprecating, or any of that. It just says to the reader that the author doesn’t care. And if the author doesn’t care about their work, why should the reader care?” Draco squeezed Harry’s thigh again. “You are a good writer, and I love your stories, and you should be proud of the work you’ve done.” His fingers hovered over the keyboard. “What’s the story about? Just one or two lines.”

“It’s - they’re having a little conversation…”

Draco deleted their note about language and typed in the empty summary box, “Jacob and Edward having a funny little conversation,” then smiled at Harry. “I had that much already. What’s the conversation about?”

“It’s - erm… they’re talking about… getting a cat.”

Draco stiffened. “I see. And I suppose,” he gave Harry a once over and could see Harry resisting the urge to run fingers through his messy black hair, “ _Jacob_ is in favor of getting a cat?”

“Well… it makes more sense he’d be into animals if he’s a werewolf…”

“And _Edward_ is opposed?” Draco set his jaw and hated all those fucking descriptions of Edward’s sharp cheekbones. Thieving little fucker.

“I mean, he’s undead so… animals are afraid of him, but if he just gave it a chance, he might see that the cat gets _used_ to him and it’ll be fine!”

“Or _maybe_ he knows they’re dirty, smelly creatures and he doesn’t want a _cat_ sullying his clean home!”

“Edward and Jacob are muggles! They don’t have magic like we do -”

“Harry, please brace yourself for some hard truths - Edward and Jacob aren’t real!”

“We have magic! We can easily rid ourselves of cat hair and vanish cat shit and all that. Having a cat would be fun!”

“No, it wouldn’t. As I’ve told you before, we had animals of all sorts growing up at the Manor and I can assure you they are a hassle. We’re not getting a cat!” He typed quickly, frowning at the screen. “Jacob and Edward having a funny conversation about getting a cat.” He clicked in the tags box again. “But I’m tagging this ‘Jacob is a little shit,’ because I’ll bet money that he is. And ‘Edward is always right,’ because he’s a hundred years old and knows a thing or two about keeping cats!”

“Maybe…” Harry bit his lip. “Maybe you could also tag it ‘surprise ending’ or ‘plot twist?’”

“And why would I do that? That’s a spoiler alert if I ever saw one.”

“As a reader, I like it. It - helps me to see the little in-jokes and foreshadowing for what they are.” And then Harry gave him a carefully crafted, innocent smile.

A cold chill of foreboding rolled through Draco. “And what, exactly, is the _plot twist_ of your little story?”

“Erm… Jacob already got the cat.”

“Damn it, Harry! I don’t want a fucking cat!”

“Funny, that’s _exactly_ what Edward said.” 

Draco’s eyes widened, “You really _are_ a little shit! Should I also tag this ‘art imitating life,’ you absolute lunatic?!”

Harry leaned over the arm of the sofa and pulled up a medium sized box with holes cut in the sides. “Perhaps.”

“What the actual, bleeding _fuck_?” Draco yelled as he dumped the laptop to the floor and leaped from the sofa.

Harry laughed as he removed the lid, “That’s almost exactly what Edward said! Except I left off the ‘bleeding’ because he’s American.” He pulled out a poofy white fluffball and rubbed his face on the meowing kitten. “But look how cute he is! Who is a pretty boy? Is it you, Snowflake? Yes it is!” Harry continued cooing at the fluffy kitten while Draco looked on in complete and total shock. “I know if you just give it a few days, you’ll see this was a good idea.”

“Bloody, fucking hell, Harry, you got us a _cat_?” And damn it all, didn’t Harry look adorable? Draco knew he would and he didn’t need those tugs on his heartstrings! No! He would be firm in this. “We’re not keeping him!”

“It’s just a trial run. The woman at the shelter said we could return him at any time within twenty-one days. Please? Just a few days?” Harry lifted a tiny paw and waved it at Draco. “Look, he wants to say hello to you.”

Draco felt his resistance melting when met with two pairs of round, luminous eyes, one set in a familiar emerald green, and one in a vibrant blue. “We can give him back? If we don’t like him?” he asked as he sat down.

Harry pressed so close, he nearly sat in Draco’s lap. “Give it a few days.” He set the vibrating animal in Draco’s arms. “We’ll see what the mess is like, the smell, the hair. All of it. And if we don’t like it, I promise I’ll take him back.”

It took every bit of Draco’s restraint not to moan in delight at the silky soft fur in his hands as he reluctantly stroked the fragile body. Harry put an arm around his shoulder and kissed his cheek. Together they pet their little Snowflake. “This is my best day,” Harry whispered.

“You’re a madman and I’m not sure why I put up with you.”

“Because I’m going to suck you off in thanks later?”

“Yeah, okay, probably because of that. You need to stop using sex to get your way.”

Harry snorted. “Not as long as it’s working.”

Draco pointed at the laptop on the floor. “Maybe you should add an author’s note about your story’s inspiration. Here, take Snowflake and I’ll finish for you.”

He handed the cat to Harry, then settled back on the sofa with the laptop in his lap. Harry cooed and nuzzled Snowflake while Draco finished the entry.

“Okay. Let’s double check? Teen rating, no warnings apply, and m/m category. We tagged Jacob and Edward as a relationship, and added them as characters, along with Quil because he was in there somewhere. Bloody hell, did Weasley help you pick out that cat?”

“Ron said he didn’t want to get involved so I’m going to say ‘no.’”

“I’m buying Hugo a drum kit. A magical one that can’t be silenced. Okay tags we added are: don’t copy to another site, fluff, implied sex, boys kissing, humour, post-canon, mild language. I’m leaving in ‘Jacob is a little shit,’ but I’ll take out ‘Edward is always right,’ because in your stories he’s rarely right.” Draco rolled his eyes. “And I’ll add in ‘surprise ending’ and ‘art imitating life.’ How does that sound?”

“That’s wonderful. Thanks for helping me.” He smooshed his face into the kitten’s fur. “Isn’t Daddy so good for helping me? That’s why we love him so much.”

“Ugh, please don’t refer to me as ‘Daddy’ ever again, especially in reference to the cat.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay a quick note about your inspiration.” His fingers clacked over the keys as he read aloud, “ _I couldn’t get the pet I wanted through regular, adult conversation so I passive-aggressively wrote this story instead. If I get enough kudos on this story, D will let me keep the cat. Thank you, D, for your help with the tags and summary. I love you more than Snowflake._ How’s that?”

“Better than I could have written myself.”

“There. Copy and paste your story from Drive and it’s ready to preview. Do you need to let it sit for a day? Re-read it with fresh eyes for typos or whatever?”

“No, I think it’s good. No wait, I have to be sure I wrote ‘apartment’ instead of ‘flat.’ But yeah, it’s ready after that.”

“Fine.” Draco lifted the cat from Harry’s arms. “You post your story, and I’ll see about finding a treat for Snowflake. I assume you hid the cat goodies in the kids’ treat cupboard?” He stood up and tried to brush the white hairs from his trousers. “Fuck, and so it begins. I can’t believe you got us a cat.”

“You love it.”

Unfortunately, Draco was sure that was true.


End file.
